College Admissions Scandal Fueled By Addiction

Soon after news of the college admission scandal broke, I was working in its epicenter – Southern California.

Just like everywhere else, it was on the minds of everyone I talked to.

As I reminded them, it’s important to remember that this isn’t just about money. And it’s about something much bigger than just college. This is about something I have seen in my practice since I started: The Addiction To Entitlement.

The adults responsible for the fraud that led to improper college acceptances are no different from many of those who I work to help. It’s about how they see themselves in the world. They say, no matter what, regardless of cost or consequence: “I deserve this… I can have what I want… I’m brilliant… I’m entitled.”

The kids affected by this scandal are no different from the kids I’ve counseled who have had to come home from college because of other forms of addiction. They have heard the word “no” far too seldom in their lives. They are kids bred to feel like they are “Number One” alongside hundreds or thousands of other “Number Ones” in college.

Entitlement Addiction runs deep in many families and can do so across multiple generations. It is a difficult cycle to break. It often leads to other addictions, namely drugs and alcohol, and regardless of college choices, can often lead to imprisonment, as the criminal justice system can’t always be paid to work in a family’s favor.

Breaking the cycle of this addiction requires professional help. It means facing your fears and sometimes, letting kids fail. It means exhibiting true anti-entitlement behavior, like charity without getting something in return and involvement in something bigger than you, where others receive accolades or credit.

The headlines focused on celebrities, scams and big checks. But deep down, this is about addiction that can and must be treated, with the assistance of professionals who have seen it before.